No (yes)

Not red, I said
Blushing crimson
Not so fast, I add
My pulse racing on
I won’t go round,
I pronounce
As my thoughts swirl
In a dizzying circle

They ask,  I answer
In my loudest voice, never
But there is more power
In the persistent whisper
That I would never
Consider
Letting out, setting free,
A dreaded honesty

On dreams that come
unwelcome,
On Meg’s soliloquy
Revived miserably
My happiness caged
Like nothing has changed
A confession unconfessed
Even to myself #

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Sunset

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The day nears its end
And I wonder how the final moment
Could be every bit as breath-taking as the dawn
When the sunrise was filled with promise,
Overflowing with fantasies,
Brimming with dreams of an ideal twenties,
Rife with exciting unknowns
No one – not Gauss nor Newton
Nor an engineer in mint condition
could have solved

Yet, God, it somehow is
As beautiful as the daybreak,
Even with the pain of unclaimed promise
And the wounds left by heartache
Its brilliance not dulled by disappointment
Nor eclipsed by ideals unmet

Perhaps because the sunset knows what I yet not-
That a dawn more beautiful than the last
Suffused with more love than in the days past
Is just beyond the present
Timeless, boundless are the beauty of Your plans
God, How awesome are the works of Your hand!

 

 

 

 

Friday Night Well Spent

Food can only take me so far

A Venti Latte, a few more waking hours


But today is written in the language of laughter,

In conversations never awkward,

In songs which would make a weird mix tape

Fit for a person with the most eclectic taste

In friendships that endured

Months of absence,

And missed milestones

In connections which prove stronger

Than the turning of the calendar


And it takes me far-

To the knowledge that I am treasured,

and that in them I have treasures,

To a heartfelt grateful prayer


I had dinner with college orgmates today- two of them I regularly see, and the rest I haven’t talked to in a while. Most of them were from younger batches, and I realized that while I’ve always thought I was closer to the older batches, that may not have been true. Tonight might be proof to the contrary. Thank God for giving me a wonderful college experience, for the friends I made in college, for these wonderful people who have always been my cure to homesickness, and for the opportunity to spend time with them again. 

At 6 AM

When I wake up and it's not quite 6 AM yet - oh, what, joy!

When I wake up and it’s not quite 6 AM yet – oh, what, joy!

Alarm Clock belts out Taylor Swift’s The Best Day

Bringing me out of the depths of slumber;

Cares come crashing over

Dreams, sweet dreams now forgotten;

Ephesians 6:7

Forces its way into my brain-

God is my master!

Hope battles with anxieties and care,

I almost let the latter win, but

Joy should not be a function of

K’s of transfer functions solved, or of

Laplace Transforms inversed;

My mind swims: What to do first?

Not looking forward to a plant design session,

Or another thesis consultation,

Process control problems await,

Quiet time notebook abandoned as of late,

Reminders for org tasks litter my planner;

Stop it, cerebral nerves!

To rest is a bodily must

Unless I want to combust;

Very quickly, these thoughts pass-

Wait, what? What’s happening now?

X’s and Y’s slide down a rainbow

Yikes, I must have returned to-

Zzzzz . . .

*The above is a response to Daily Prompt: A to Z.  

Things I’d Rather Do than Code a Matlab Program

Stare

and beam

at the cloudless blue sky,

a rare, enlivening treat

on January’s blustery month

 

Cheer

my team

as they win a match against

this season’s favorite

by a buzzer beater shot

 

Read

and feast

on a borrowed book

which doesn’t make my nose bleed

nor my brain juices run out

 

Weep

and scream

In fantasies, cast myself

as the protagonist

of an adventure plot

 

Meet

And date

my dream guy who only lives,

at present, at least

in an  imagined world

 

Write

a rhyme,

Forget for a while

that due before midnight

is my unwritten lab report

 

Rest

Turn off

My exhausted laptop

And not care in the least

if the WiFi works not

 

Sleep

and dream

of waking up to a day

when schoolwork quits

wanting to be my god

 


***I’m editing this now because I think it ties in well with the Daily Prompt: Nothin’ But A Good Time