As weeks rush past, more and more of my conversations with highschool and college friends center around career paths and job decisions. At first, it was fine. It was easy to say I was taking a break. Sometimes, I replied that I was still considering my options. Occasionally, I joked that I was waiting for the results of my Big Brother Audition. And then I got tired of getting asked about what I was doing with my life. So I took a short break away from everyone, and the next thing I knew, the whole world had become a working people land.
And then I realized how pathetic it was that I was still financially dependent on my parents and not moving on from that foggy place of bumhood. Not surprisingly, every conversation ended with a resolution to finally close my bumlife chapter.
Unfortunately, it’s a looooot harder than I thought it would be. It’s been more than a month since I first handed out my resumes and application letters. (Sidenote: I must be the only UP Diliman ChE graduate unable to get a job offer within a year of graduation.) I thought I was strong enough to handle the hazards of job-hunting. But I realized otherwise when I found myself crying tears of frustration and self-pity yesterday.
I’m here, in my favorite place in the world, my hometown, Tuguegarao City. It’s 35.5 degrees today and the sky is a perfect, cloudless blue. It’s the prototype of my favorite day. But the urge to say this has never been stronger: Life sucks.
*Feeling down today but talk to me again in a week and I’m sure I’ll be over myself by then.